The New Beginning
by kanarek
Summary: Will and Mac right after season 1. I don't like the end of the season and it's such a long time till the next one...
1. Chapter 1 - Will

Will's finally got home after the American Taliban broadcast and the first thing he did was that he poured himself a really large glass of Scotch. God, what a day. His head was aching and his heart was beating like he just finished marathon. He sat down on the sofa, absolutely exhausted, trying to think. Did he just lost hist job, got it back (but only thanks to the blackmailing), pissed off half of the nation (or at least all the Tea Party voters) and – he still couldn't believe it – did he almost kissed Mackenzie? And did she just hired the Sorority Girs as their new intern? The girl who had every reason to hate him, but she wanted to be a Greater Fool instead. His kid of Camelot… He really had no other option than to escape ACN as fast as he was able to. Jesus Christ.

So here he was, sitting in his appartment, head in his hands. „Think McAvoy, just try to think, you idiot". Whisky calmed him down a bit. Ok, he didn't care about Leona and Reese at all. Especially Reese could go fuck himself, he's got what he deserved. And working without a permanent fear of getting fired will be so much easier. If they didn't do what they did, he would be fired right after the show tonight, he was absolutely sure about it. He smiled. The show was good, one of the best he ever made. THEY ever made. And here it was again. Mackenzie.

Well, he was expecting she will sooner or later find out there was something in the voicemail message she might like to know. But they were so busy since he was back from the hospital, that Mac had no time for thinking about the content of that deleted voicemail at all. But he knew all the time that she will find out. And no matter how hard he was thinking about it, he had no idea, what he will do when it happens. And when it happened, he still had no idea what to do. So he was pretending amnesia and she – what a surprise – didn't belive him a single word. And when he finally tried to tell her (because she was chasing him around with those puppy eyes), she admitted it was really her at Norhwestern. He was absolutely unprepared for this. His first intention was to kiss her but then he's got scared and started to yell at her instead. God.

She is smart, he was pretty sure that she knows the most of the story by now – she can only guess what was in the message, but she definitely figured out, that he hired Brian only to punish her for not answering it. And that he's got so upset about it, that he started to eat antidepressants. Which, together with considerable amount of alcohol and lack of sleep got him to the hospital. There is no way that he would be able to convince her that all this mess had nothing to do with that fucking voicemail. And wores, he was hundred percents sure she would leave him alone until he tells her. Screw it.

What was she asking? „Just say what you're feeling…" Oh, if he only could, but it was such an emotianal roller coaster… He wasn't ready to say aloud that he loves her. After he was finally able to admit himself, he fucked everything up by leaving her the voicemail. God, he was convinced for almost three months that she rejected him - it was such a relief that she has never heard the message… It meant she not only didn't reject him, but she was standing by his side no matter how idiotically he was acting. He really felt like complete idiot now... „Be honest to yourself McAvoy, it's a miracle that she is still here. If she didn't love her job so much, she would quit right after Brian crossed the treshold". He said it loudly and sighed.

And this was the other part of the problem. It seemed it has not so much to do with the job – it looks much more likely that it might has something to do with him. „She still loves you", he whispered. He was sure about it now. She was sitting almost 24 hours a day next to his hospital bed. She practically said it while yelling at Jim. And he still could see her eyes when she was asking about the message right in fromt of him… She loves him. He smiled.

He would expected that all that I-can-not-forgive-her crap will come up, but in the light of the recent events it looked somehow stupid. He really couldn't forgive her, no matter how hard he was trying. The picture of her with Brian caused him almost physical pain. It always came back – the image of her cheating on him with Brian while he was happily picking the engagement rings. But now… He was so ashamed that he poured his heart to her and she didn't even anwer that he didn't tell anyone. Not even to Habib. Insted of admitting his feeling he was trying to convince him (and himself) that the only way how he can forgive and move on with his life is treating Mac like shit. Now, when he knew that she didn't deserve it all, he wasn't sure who should be forgiven. They really fucked everything up…

But he wanted to fix it. Having her back was the best thing that could possibly happen to him. And if she still loves him, after all… Suddenly he knew exactly what he should do. He finished the glass and reached for his blacberry.


	2. chapter 2 - Mac

Meanwhile, Mackenzie was sitting in her office. Everybody left and the newsroom was quiet – oh she really could use a peaceful moment… She wanted to go home, get a shower and a huge glass of Chardonay (or maybe a bottle, she really didn't care tonight), but she was so tired... And she needed to think. But the only thing she could think about was Will and the voicemail message. Why he has to be so stubborn…

For one second she wanted to call Nina Howard and just ask what the message was about, but she realized pretty soon, how stupid it would be. „Hi Nina, this is Mackenzie, could you please tell me what was in the Will's voicemail massage? Yes, I know, who your fist source was. But I haven't heard the message and Will doesn't want to tell me, so.." Hmmm. No way. She smiled bitterly - maybe she could call Reese… Screw it, it's really not funny. Even Reese Lensing knows what was in the message, it is sooo annoying…

She really had no idea, what Will could say. But she hoped it was something about them and considering his behaviour in last three months… God, if he really asked her for another try, she didn't even want to imagine, how much he had to suffer thinking she had rejected him. She suddenly unsterstood very well, why he hired Brian. But he wasn't punisning only her, he was punishing them both. No wonder, he had to eat antidepressants. He's got himself to hospital for God's sake! If only he had told her…

And if only everything wasn't so fucking complicated. In fact everything what had anything to do with Will. She was really sick of it - they've been playing this pathetic game far too long. One step forward, two steps back. Everytime she started to think they were getting closer, he fucked up. She took every punishment he threw at her - contract changes, reminding her the cheating in every possible (or even impossible) opportunity, the line of the showgirls parading in front of her office… Well, she understood she was the one to blame in this story, but she told him she was sorry like hundred times. But it didn't matter at all - she knew, that she could apologize for example in Farsi, but he won't listen. Because he just cannot forgive her. And he cannot forgive her, because he can't forget. „Damn you, William McAvoy", damn you and your stubborness, I really don't understand why you have to have memory like some fucking elephant". That was their problem – they were both thinking too much. About everything.

She sighed. He almost told her. God, he almost kissed her. She was waiting for this moment for 15 months.

No matter from which side she was looking on this mess, she had no other option than wait. He knows that she has never heard the message now. He should also know she still loves him by now, he would really have to be blind if he didn't see that. So he will hopefully find the courage to tell her what the message said – he did it once, he can do that again. She will just have to wait. She's been waiting for 15 months…

She was completely lost in her thoughts, when her phone started to ring. She looked at it and stiffened in disbelief – it was Will's name on the display. She hesited for a second and then she picked the phone up.


	3. Chapter 3 - the phone call

Mac picked up the phone saying: „Hi, this is Mackenzie, I can not pick up right now, but please leave me the message. I will never call you back…"

„Funny, really," Will stopped her dryly.

„It's not, is it? I hope you are calling me to tell me what the rest of the message was, Billy. And don't tell me you don't remember, because you remember everything. And I remember what you said in the hospital – ‚there is no way that you don't remember what that message said Mac', so you have to remember too, so…

He stopped her again. „Jesus, Mackenzie, for once in your life, could you be quiet for a while? Calm down."

„No Will, I don't want to calm down!"

He sighed „We need to talk."

„What? Really? What makes you say that?" Then she realized what was going on: „Oh no. Are you high?"

He started to laugh. „No".

„Drunk?"

„No Mackenzie, I'm not drunk. I wish I were right now, but I am not."

She was absolutely confused. He sounded… serious.

„Ok, listen. I know, I probably deserve it after tonight. But I really want to talk to you… About us. And we should do it personally. Are you at home?"

„No. What? I'm still in the office..."

„Ok. So what if I met you at your place? I know it's late and I would like to offer something better, like for exaple dinner tomorrow, but if you don't want to have dinner together with Lonny… There is not many places we could get some privacy right now I'm affraid."

„Have you completely lost your mind? Will, you can't go anywhere. Definitely not after tonight. If you really want to talk, I can come to your place. I would like you to survive at least until we meet, you know".

He giggled. „Sorry, I know it's probably not funny. I guess you are right. So would you mind to come here?"

She couldn't believe her ears. „Are you serious?"

„Yes Mac, I am serious."

„What made you change your mind? I mean you were trying to run away from me and my questions all night and now you want me to come to your appartment? I just don't understand…"

He took a deep breath and anwered quietly. „Maybe I have some questions too, Mac. And maybe Charlie was right – I'm not getting any younger. And I don't want to waste time anymore…"

Before she could say anything, he hung up.

He poured himself another glass of Scotch. He didn't want to get drunk, but he really needed some encouragement right now. He hoped that two glasses won't kill him – he was not allowed to drink at all, but he has never been very good patient. Plus, the doctor would drink too, if he was expecting Mackenzie coming around. God, he was so nervous… He took his guitar and started to play. He really didn't want to think about anything right now.

TO BE CONTINUED


	4. Chapter 4 - Will's appartment

Mackenzie left the office, caught the cab and was desperately trying not to get too excited. She still couldn't belive this was really happening –did he just say he doesn't want to waste time anymore? She was trying to stop smiling like some stupid teenager on the first date, but she couldn't help it. So she frowned. „Relax, Mackenzie. It's Will. It's definitely not going to be easy."

He was standing at the door watching her silently. „Hey" she said and smiled sheepishly. He just stepped aside and let her in.

While she was taking the coat off, Will was trying to say something. Fuck it, how is it possible, that when it comes to Mackenzie he always turns into a fish? He's the news anchor– he talks to people for the living, and he was usally pretty good at it. But not with her.

„Want some wine?" he asked at last. She looked around and saw the glass with the rest of Scotch immidiately. „Well, I see you started already" she said with the raised eybrows. „Didn't the doctor say that drinking and smoking can cause the bleeding from the ulcer again?" He rolled his eyes. „Jesus, Mac, I didn't invite you here to get a lecture about my lifestyle. I'm not crazy, I know I can't drink. I just had two glasses of Scotch, which is perfectly apprehensible after the day I had". She shrugged. „Ok, I know, I'm sorry. I just don't want to find you in the pool of blood again. You scared me to death." „I know. I'm sorry." And then with a grin: „I'm not going to do it again, don't worry. I still have the nightmares about you beating me with the magazine". She giggled. „Well, you deserved it . But back to your question – I'm not going to refuse the glass of nicely cooled Chardonnay." „Italian works for you?" She smiled. „Sounds perfect."

He went to the kitchen to get the wine and she was sitting ond the sofa in the living room looking around. She wasn't in his appartment since the anniversary party. But back then it was full of people and there was no time for memories. Now she found herself thinking about the times, when she called this place home. She sighed. It's been so long... She didn't hear him to come back until he was standing in front of her. „Penny for your thoughts…" he said quietly. She smiled sadly and took the glass. „Thanks Will". „Sure". He sat on the sofa next to her.

She took a deep breath„Ok. Let's not beat around the bush, it's almost midnight. What you wanted to talk about Billy? You wanted to ask something…"

He shrugged. „Well, for the beginning I would really like to know what were you doing at Northwestern."

She was looking at him for a while, biting her lower lip, thinking. Then she stood up, crossed the room and stopped by the window, standing there quietly, watching the New York Skyline. He didn't move, waiting.

„I wanted to see you." She continued after the small pause. „I was in the Middle East far too long.. And I wanted to go home, so I was glad when Charlie called me and offered me the job. He said I could do the news the way I alway wanted. I asked him if you agreed and he said that you were ok with that. I really didn't know what to think about it.. You didn't anwer any of my phone calls or emails, all those years. So I thought that you probably moved on and you just want to fix the show, which – to be honest – had nothing to do with the news, really. I desperately wanted to see you and this was the way how to do it. If I wanted to move on with my life, I had to be sure that there is no chance for us anymore. I was hoping, that you might have forgiven me… That if we work together, I might at least get your respect and friendship back. On the other hand, I knew how selfish it was and I knew I had no right to walk into your life again. So I told Charlie that I wanted to see you before I could give him the answer. And he sent me to Northwestern. Seeing you after three years was.. Well, it was like there were no three years between us at all. I was reallly trying to forget so hard… But when I saw you everything was back. Time didn't help. And it seemed to me that you don't look like someone who found happiness as well; you looked more like someone who lost the way completely. All those your I-don't –have-any-opinion-answers… I couldn't believe what happened to you. Will I used to know was not the man without opinion. So I tried to push you a bit – I really wanted to know, if theres is the old Will somewhere". She turned her head. „You know the rest". Then she looked out of the window again. „I really wanted to tell you. I almost did right after our first broadcast, but befere I could, you were gone. And there was no chance since. I am sorry".

She could see him in the window, he was sitting quietly while she was talking, listening carefuly. Now he stood up and slowly crossed the room. He was standing right behind her, but he didn't touch her. She shivered. He said, very quietly: „You have never stopped loving me, have you?" She turned round and looked into his eyes. „No Billy, never". She almost whispered it. He put his hands on her shoulders and said: „That was what the message was about." „ What?" „The voicemail. I said I never stopped loving you either. And I was asking you for another try". She shut her eyes . „I can't believe you just said that". He smiled and slowly touched her face. „Look at me Mac." Her heart was beating so fast, that she was sure he has to hear it. „I'm going to kiss you right now. And I'm not going to screw it up this time" His voice was raw now. The kiss was gentle, it was like coming home, so familiar. God, she missed it so much… And he did to - the scent of her was overhelming. The wild elation went throug their bodies and when the lack of oxygen made them pull apart they were both smiling. They were standing there for a while, his forehead resting against hers. When she found her voice again, she said „I thought I would never see you looking at me like this again, Billy. God, I'm so sorry. About everything" He nodded. „I know. And I'm sorry too. I've put you through hell since you came back" She sank her fingers into his hair and said: „Oh if you only knew how I longed to do it – you have no idea how much I missed you. How could you ever think that I would say no to you?" „Well, after the way I was treating you… And I gave you the option not to call me back if the answer was no..." „I would call you back whatever my anwer would be. Jesus, Billy. I thought you knew me better." He shrugged. „Now it seems logical, but back then... I don't know. I cursed myself for being so stupid – that fucking voicemail was really worst idea I've ever had". „No, the worst idea you've ever had was to hire Brian to punish me for not answering it" she smiled. „If you weren't so stubborn you wouldn't have to torture yourself with that bloody article. And you wouldn't have bleeding ulcer probably. Damn McAvoy's pride." He grinned. „Ok, I think we made perfectly clear that I was an idiot". She smiled again. „Yes. But I love you anyway".

With that he kissed her again. But this time ít was deep, passionate and hungry. She moaned and he pull her closer. Her fingers ran from his neck to the buttons of his shirt and when she covered his chest with her hands his mouth suddenly hardened on hers. Then he moved to her neck which brought a helpless response so acute she felt faint. But he was holding her tightly. He looked into her eyes, looking for reassurance. And when she nodded, he took her in her arms and headed toward the bedroom.


End file.
